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About Stephen Brophy

Stephen T. Brophy is a living human male. He resides in the principality of Los Angeles, California USA.

ATOMBLAST

Nye County, Nevada June 1951

Jackson Tennifer’s ’47 Vanderbuilt Road Baron flew up North Highway 95 like a rocket from Hell. It was full dark, nearly midnight, and there were no other cars on the road. His wife, Visalia, was stretched across the bench seat, head resting in his lap. Her cheek against his thigh was causing an erection he was doing his best to ignore. After all, what good what it do? She’d never put her face this close to his crotch when she was wide awake, would she? 

When he saw the sign for Mercury, Nevada, he slowed the Road Baron and left the main highway onto a service road that veered off to the right. The speed decrease was like an alarm clock, and right on cue, Visalia began to murmur, then lifted her head and blinked up at him with a bleary smile. 

“Are we there?” she asked, lifting herself slowly away from him and stretching as she sat upright. She peered through the windshield at the surrounding darkness. “Where’s the lights?”

“We’re close,” he said, and reached into his coat pocket for his flask, took a long pull of the bourbon inside and then poked the open mouth at her before replacing the lid. 

She waved it away. “Did we take a wrong turn somewhere?”

“Nope,” he replied. “More of a…romantic detour.”

“Oh, Jack. Please. If I wouldn’t do those kinds of things in a car before we were married, why would you think I’d want to do them now?”

Jackson rolled his eyes, hoping the cab was dim enough that she wouldn’t notice. Question of the day, wasn’t it? Of the year. Of their life. “You miss my meaning, sweetie. I just thought, before we hit the big town, we should get a little time to ourselves.”

“Um…okay. But I thought we had a room at the Desert Inn, and tickets for Martin & Lewis?”

Tomorrow night, hon. Tonight’s all about us.”

The Road Baron rolled off the service road and bumped its way down a narrow strip of dirt that could only be referred to as a road with tremendous generosity. The puzzled expression wasn’t leaving Visalia’s face, but Jackson was thoroughly used to that look by now. Visalia, the sweet little angel, the Virgin of Sioux City, Iowa, a small town girl with big city dreams and stars in her eyes but not a single clue how to operate one foot outside of Squaresville. Sure, she was beautiful, under the mousy haircut and unflattering clothes, else why would Jackson  have ever given her the time of day? And there must have been some tiny mystery there, too, behind those wide, eternally awestruck eyes, else why would he have asked for her hand just to get under her skirt? But now here they were, two years in and nothing had changed. Well, next to nothing. Two years in and she was still as fearful of his sex as she was on their wedding night, still timid and frigid and willing to submit only under what amounted to extreme duress. There was just no joy in it. If he wanted the house cleaned and his meals on the table, he could hire a goddamn maid, but could he really be expected to spend the rest of his life like a monk who’d taken vows? 

After a long silent while he brought the sedan to a stop outside of a bare bones clapboard two-story house. The headlights revealed a long wide porch across the front, dark windows staring down, the shades half-drawn like sullen eyelids, observing their approach with blank indifference. 

“Jack…what’s this?”

“I rented us a cabin. You don’t like?”

“No…I…it’s…fine. It’s totally fine.”

He could hear the disappointment in her voice, and for just a moment he wondered if he should have saved this for the end of the weekend. Let her have her fun, or whatever passed for fun in her boring Midwestern brain, then…but no, that would have been too late. If he couldn’t save the marriage, at least he could save himself. And this was the only way.

He got out of the car, mildly surprised and slapped half sober by the cold snap of night air in the desert, took a breath and went around to her side, opened the door like a gentleman does and put a warming arm around her as she stepped out, already shivering. 

“It’s like no cabin I ever saw,” she said, taking a tentative step toward the big dark shabby house. She peered around, trying to take in their surroundings beyond the bleak, impenetrable dark. “It’s so…desolate.”

“That’s Nevada, baby. You wanted to get away, right? Well, you can’t get much more away than this.”

He couldn’t tell what she was more afraid of, the loneliness of the house and this place, or the thought of being alone here with him. Either way, he didn’t want her scared. That wouldn’t do either of them any good.

“C’mon, I’ll get the bags.”

“Do you have a flashlight?”

He popped the trunk and brought out an electric lantern, clicked it on and flooded them both in white light. It didn’t exactly cheer things up. 

“Prepared for every eventuality.”

She smiled for the first time since waking up in his lap, and it melted him, just a little. That smile had been the first hook, the thing that drew him to her. He should have hated that smile, but he just couldn’t.

The steps creaked and even buckled a little with each footstep, and the porch floor was no better. The whole place felt like it might fall over if he leaned against the wall to tie his shoe or something.

“Jack, are you sure this is the right place?”

“Positive. Why?”

“Well, isn’t that another car?” She pointed off to the left, around the Southeast corner of the house, where the tailfin of a spanking new Vanderbuilt Casino Deluxe sparked and glistened in the glow of the lantern. “Maybe somebody’s already here?”

“Oh, no. That’s the owner’s. The guy I rented from. He told me he parks his extra car out here sometimes. Safekeeping.”

“Oh.” She smiled up at him, but this wasn’t the warm inviting smile of a moment ago. It was the forced smile she wore along with her one negligee, the “I-guess-if-you-say-so” smile. 

He gave her the lantern and pretended to fumble with the door, hoping she wouldn’t notice that he didn’t have a key. He’d known he wouldn’t need one. He didn’t push the gag too hard, afraid the thing would pop off its hinges, and when it swung open, he took the lantern back before ushering her in. Immediately, she grabbed his arm.

“Jackson,” she hissed through clenched teeth. “There are people here.”

“How’s that?” he asked, giving the lantern a swing around the room. Sure enough, several human silhouettes emerged from the darkness, one standing at the window, one seated at the kitchen table, another over by the couch. 

“Jack, I’m scared,” she whispered.

She clutched his arm tightly enough to leave a bruise as he stepped over to the figure at the window and illuminated it fully. She gasped when he reached out and gave it a tap, and it wobbled stiffly. 

“Huh. Imagine that.” He let out a snort of laughter. “Mannequins.”

“Jackson, what is this place? It’s like a…house of horrors.”

“They’re probably just here to scare off kids and troublemakers. Like scarecrows.”

“I don’t like it. It’s weird. I want to leave.”

“C’mon, I already paid.”
“It’s worth every penny to me not to be here anymore.”

He’d had plans, an idea to enjoy her diffident lovemaking one last time, to eke as much minimal pleasure from the whole sordid event as he could before…

“Sorry, babe. We can’t leave. Well…you can’t.”

The puzzled look again. “What are you–?”

He brought the lantern down on her skull.

 

He must not have hit her as hard as he thought. Carrying her out to the Road Baron, she stirred, the same sleepy, bewildered look as when she woke up from her car nap, but no smile this time. Just fear. He’d never wanted her to be afraid. This wasn’t meant to be malicious. He just wanted his freedom. To leave as little mess behind as possible. A peaceful exit for both of them. Sort of. He thought he’d planned it perfectly, but he’d only ever seen the place in daylight. It was a little creepy then, but he hadn’t counted on how much more disturbing it would be at night, and how that would affect his little Iowan waif. His virtuous child bride.

“Jacky…? What are you…? What…happened?”

“Shh.” He carried her in his arms like they were crossing the threshold on their wedding night, and maybe it stirred that memory for her, because she nuzzled against him suddenly, burrowing for his protection. She probably didn’t even realize, in her semi-conscious stupor, that he was responsible for her cloudy mind. Probably just thought she’d fainted, again like their wedding night, and he was doing as she asked, taking her away from this terrible place, not forcing her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

The trunk was still open, and he tried his best to be gentle as he lowered her in, but he bumped her head against the trunk lid and she let out a little yelp of pain.

“Jacky, I’m cold. Where are we going?”

“Nowhere too far,” he said comfortingly, then went to close the lid, but she grabbed the edge of the trunk and he nearly caught her fingers. Gingerly, he reached down and freed her hand, pushed it down against her chest, arranging her in her casket. 

“Jacky, it’s too dark,” she murmured as he caught his last glimpse of her.

Too fucking dark indeed.

 

If the Road Baron was a rocket, the Casino was a goddamn time machine. At top speed, he figured he’d be back in San Diego an hour before he’d ever left. He whistled along with the song on the radio, Tony Bennett’s version of “Cold, Cold Heart.” He expected to feel guilt, shame, that anxious looking-over-the-shoulder feeling. But he only felt…lighter. The further he got from that broken down shack and that unfixable woman he felt like he was tap dancing on a storm cloud. 

As he reached the turn-off for the service road, he was hit with a flood of light so intense he thought for a moment he might be getting abducted by aliens. He knew the rumors about the area, but he was a pragmatist by nature, so the thought left him just as quickly. 

“Stop the vehicle!” a voice barked with a bullhorn crackle.

The law! he thought, but how was that possible? No one could have found her this fast. It hadn’t been ten minutes yet. He hit the brakes more out of blindness than in response to the command. The Casino was brand new, and cost a fortune. It wouldn’t do to smash it into anything just yet. 

“Step out of the vehicle! Hands over your head!”

He blinked into the brilliance, and it all became clear. Their helmeted silhouettes coming into view, the outlines of their rifles, held at the ready. A jeep rigged with floodlamps and some kind of mounted machine gun.

“Out! Now!”

The click-clack of weaponry cocking, the shadowy motion of men stepping forward, coming for him.

Without a second thought, Jackson threw the Casino into reverse and floored it. She handled beautifully, a masterstroke of American automotive engineering, top of the motherfucking line. All this desert, horsepower like this, they didn’t have a hope in hell of catching him out here. All he had to do was make the highway, any highway, and he’d be home free.

V8 engine, chrome bumpers, built-in record player, automatic doors and windows, this car had everything. Though there was one feature available on the ’52 Casino that Jackson had refused. The mere suggestion from the sales dealer had sounded absurd to him at the time. Why on earth would he ever need that? What would any regular Joe just cruising the American roadway ever want with a bulletproof car?

As the shattered glass filled his eyes and the relentless ammunition of the silhouette soldiers tore him and his car to pieces, Jackson Tennifer finally had his answer.

 

She wasn’t in a bed. That much she knew. Wherever she was it was hard and unyielding and devoid of creature comfort and…she tried to sit up and promptly bumped her head against whatever ceiling was above her. It sent a jangling shock of pain through her body. She’d barely bumped it, though, so why did her head hurt so terribly? 

As she pressed her hands upwards against the obstruction, a moment of foggy panic had her convinced she’d been buried alive, some kind of horrible mistake. What could have led to this? Were they in an accident? Last she remembered she’d been resting comfortably in Jackson’s lap, on their way to Vegas, the long-promised second honeymoon. 

“Jack?” she croaked, her voice hoarse with fear. She thought that had to be it, they’d been in a crash and she was either dead in her coffin or, more likely, trapped inside the ruined car. But where was Jack? She felt around in the terrible dark and her fingers brushed strange things—hard metal here, soft cloth there, a crumple of something that was crusty and hard, maybe newspaper or an old towel, something that had to be a hairbrush, another that felt like a length of pipe or a tool. 

“Jack!” she said, more insistently now. But he wasn’t here with her, she knew already. Not in these tiny confines. She remembered him carrying her, and then she knew where she was. The trunk. And Jackson had put her here. But why? She reached up and felt the lump on her head and the sharp but expected jolt brought a flood of realization. The creepy house, the ghostly mannequin-people, Jack’s strange demeanor. Had she been attacked in there? Had they both? But no, that made no sense either. It was Jack who’d done this, she was sure. A new answer but the same nagging question: Why?

Panic again. She was alone, as alone as she’d ever been, in the middle of nowhere with a man who’d just hurt her, possibly tried to murder her, the man who supposedly loved her. And just the thought of that was enough to transform fear into anger. It wasn’t an emotion she was used to, at least not to expressing out loud. But hell hath no fury…

She began pounding on the roof of the trunk, shouting as loud as her cold lungs would let her. “Jack! You let me out of here right now, you…you…son-of-a-bitch! Do you hear me?! Let me out or I’ll just make sure whatever happens is as bad for you as it could ever be!” Then, rethinking her position. “Let me out, while there’s still a chance we can make sense of this!” 

Nothing.

Anger turned to despair then. He’d done it. He’d abandoned her. Maybe he’d meant to kill her, maybe not. Maybe there was another woman, maybe there wasn’t. Hardly mattered now. She’d been betrayed. Abandoned and betrayed. In the far-flung reaches of some desert hell, locked in a trunk without light…or air.

Panic again. She pounded even harder, knowing it was futile but trying anyway, knowing there was no one to hear her for miles around, just like he’d planned it. So no matter how she tried to slice it, it was murder, even if he’d been too much of a coward to kill her with his bare hands. He’d meant for her to die, and when she’d exhausted herself and her hands and arms ached from pounding, she collapsed back and figured she would. Almost against her will, though, her legs kicked up and she tried to force the trunk that way. She felt the heel of one shoe give and she kicked them both off, kicking upward again as hard as she could, and feeling nothing but hard steel resistance and screaming needles of pain in the soles of her feet. She very nearly twisted an ankle with the violence of her effort and that was when she gave up again, collapsing back and curling up into a fetal ball and sobbing heavily. 

When she cried herself out she tried praying, but even as a good church-going Lutheran girl, a tiny part of her deep in the center knew that it was futile. Jesus might be there to comfort her when she reached the Pearly Gates, but he wasn’t going to come along and open the trunk with his magic key, was he? He could always send one of his angels, in the form of a passing motorist, but she was too far off the highway to be seen, no matter how bright their halo.

She thought maybe if she just went to sleep she wouldn’t feel it, that death would come for her with silent solicitude and steal her last breath in mid-snore. But there was something pressing against her spine and if she was going to lay back into the arms of death, she was going to be comfortable, by God. She reached beneath her and her hands closed around the metal object she’d brushed over earlier and she knew without needing to see what it was. A tire iron. With a crowbar end. She tried to stay calm as she fumbled around for the trunk’s lock mechanism, and after a panicky few minutes she realized she was searching the back of the trunk, not the front. She rolled over and found it, then fingered the tire iron, trying to figure out how to mate tool and lock in blind darkness. She managed to slide it into place at the edge of the lock but she couldn’t find a position that gave her any leverage to pry. She wriggled this way and that until she could, then used what strength she could muster to force the lock. It wouldn’t budge. This wasn’t something a woman was capable of, she thought. This was man stuff, all the way. Her thin arms and slender shoulders didn’t have the muscle required for such a monumental…

Fuck that, she thought, and startled herself with the mere idea of the word. She wasn’t that kind of girl, she didn’t talk that way. She’d heard the word, sure, from the lips of her father out in the garage under the hood when he had no idea she was in earshot. And what had he been doing? Fumbling and struggling with a wrench against a bolt that didn’t want to budge. But a few well-placed and whisper-shouted “fucks” later, the bolt came loose for him. How was this any different? 

“Fuck this,” she said out loud and caught herself giggling. The word felt weird on her lips. Weird but wonderful. She wondered what Jackson would have thought? Her mother would have slapped her silly, her father would have grabbed his belt—never acknowledging his own hypocrisy as he tarnished her hide. But Jackson, he would’ve just stood there, with that slack-jawed “who are you?” expression on his face. The look that told her what she’d always been too afraid to think about too hard—that he didn’t really know her, and never would. All for lack of trying. 

“Fuck this!” she said again, and pried hard at the lock, feeling the narcotic adrenal surge as she summoned strength she didn’t know she had. Something gave. Not a lot. No satisfying shriek and pop of metal surrendering to her will. But…movement.

Fuuuuuuuckkk!”

She couldn’t tell what sound it made over her own powerful scream, but the lock gave up the ghost with such force it flew back and hit her in the mouth and even as the blood trickled from her lips she was laughing. Hysterical, triumphant, exhausted, over-the-edge soul-deep laughter welling up from her core. 

She pushed the trunk open and was surprised to see that it was dawn now, the desert sky a pale blue-gray overhead. It was comforting to know that she wouldn’t have to find her way out of here under dark of night. She didn’t suppose that rotten bastard would have thought to leave the keys.

As she started to climb out, she heard a roar of thunder loud enough to shake the Heavens and then the sky lit up. Great, she thought, a storm. But this bright flash didn’t flicker away. Daybreak, she figured, the sun cresting the far horizon. It wasn’t until she saw the massive cloud begin to form that she fully realized what was happening. Jackson really had planned this well. Next came the cloud of dust, rolling toward her like a freight train, picking up whatever was in its path and hurtling it in her direction. She ducked back into the trunk and managed to get the lid down just in time for the shockwave of the atom blast to send the Road Baron flying into and right through the clapboard house. 

Surrender Dorothy, she thought, as the car sailed end over end, and again she was laughing.

 

She didn’t know what time it was when she came to. She figured wherever she was now, time didn’t matter anyway. Right? I mean, I must be dead now, she thought. Then again, if I’m dead, why does everything hurt so Goddamn much? And then she clapped her hand over her mouth just for thinking the word Goddamn. Maybe I went to Hell, she reasoned. Probably. After all, I did say the Fuck Word. And what was a life of piety and submission and near-constant trembling God-fear in the face of an atrocity like that?  

She felt another fit of the giggles coming on and that surprised her even more. She couldn’t remember laughing this much in a long time, and by all rights, this should be the least hilarious day of her life. But it wasn’t. It was Goddamn hysterical. Everything about it, from Jackson’s brutal betrayal to her escape into the face of a mushroom cloud struck her as wonderfully, joyously ridiculous. There was an undercurrent of anger, too, a recognition of the bitter ironies and vagaries of fate. But miraculously, the fear was gone, replaced with an overwhelming sense that in spite of her predicament—because of it?—she could do anything.

It took her a few moments to realize that she was most likely not in Hell, but in the trunk of an irradiated Road Baron. Feeling around, she also realized pretty quickly that she wouldn’t be going out the way she got in. The car must have landed upside down. Without hesitation, she repositioned herself and kicked at the back of the trunk, one, two, three, and the backseat popped forward and she was able to crawl free. She expected to emerge into the sedan’s roomy interior but instead she found herself outside, and when she turned to look at the vehicle she realized that at some point it had been cleaved in two. She was in the backyard of what had once been the clapboard mannequin abode, which was now just a wood frame on a cement foundation strewn with rubble. The front half of the vehicle rested on the still-standing second floor, next to a clawfoot bathtub. As she stood there in the debris field, tattered, bruised, bleeding from here and there, but very much alive, she took in a lungful of radioactive air and turned to face the mushroom cloud still lingering on the horizon, unable to believe how absolutely brilliant and beautiful everything was. This was undoubtedly the lowest moment of her life, and she’d never felt better.

Without exactly knowing why, she started walking in the direction of the big billowing cloud of smoke and death, like she’d seen the soldiers do in the newsreel films. On the horizon, the incongruous mushroom seemed as motionless as a painting, a piece of set dressing for an epic Hollywood film. She didn’t know how long she walked, but she never seemed to get any closer to it and she didn’t stop until she saw something, or maybe someone, coming toward her, silhouetted against that gorgeous backdrop of pinks and yellows and oranges and reds. She didn’t know if this was someone coming to her rescue—not that she needed it—or maybe a soldier coming to take her into custody for trespassing. Better yet, perhaps it was Jackson, on his way back to finish the job. If that was the case, she was ready for him.

But as the figure drew nearer, Visalia saw that it was a woman. It wasn’t just the voluptuous curves and the billowy mane of flaming red hair. No, the real giveaway was that she was stark naked, her ample breasts and fiery nethers on display for all the world to see, if all the world were to suddenly gather in remote death-blasted Nevada. Maybe, Visalia thought, she’d been caught in the blast, too, another victim of a surprise atomic incident, her clothing super-heated away. But that didn’t explain the confident motion of her hips as she walked, the near-hypnotic focus of her determined forward motion. 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she said as she drew close enough for Visalia to see that she had the most electrifying green eyes she’d ever seen. As soon as the words left her full, indescribably luscious lips, she planted them on Visalia’s, and as they kissed in the shadow of the mushroom cloud the former Mrs. Tennifer felt a shockwave that put the A-bomb aftermath to shame.

Oh, I get it, Visalia thought. I’m hallucinating.

 

The sun was already getting low in the sky, the giant cloud long since dissipated, when she found herself at the service road. She came upon a bustle of activity, men in army gear and some in suits, others in labcoats and even more in radiation gear, taking readings and measurements and talking quietly and seriously among themselves. They were gathered around something that she recognized, first dimly, then with dawning horror followed by sudden and immense satisfaction. The ’52 Vanderbuilt Casino Deluxe that she’d seen parked alongside the clapboard house. The getaway car. Only it didn’t get far. Pocked with bullet holes like a gangster’s last ride. She couldn’t yet tell if Jackson was inside, but she knew he was—every bit as dead as she wasn’t. It was almost enough to make her believe there was some justice in the world. 

When she caught the first soldier’s eye, she couldn’t help but wonder what a sight she must be. In her own mind-reel, she was a bedraggled wretch, a filthy ragamuffin waif in tattered dress and grease-smeared sweater, shoeless and skin-burnt from radioactive wind. But the wide-eyed look on his face was her first clue that her mental picture wasn’t entirely accurate. He was obviously startled, only vaguely concerned for her well-being, and definitely not thinking of her in terms of her potential threat level. No, the predominant reaction lingering within that slightly glazey gaze was…lust. Pure animal lust. 

She’d seen the look before, but only rarely directed her way. She kind of liked it, even if she couldn’t quite understand what she’d done to inspire it.

“Ah…sir?” the soldier managed to stammer, letting go of his rifle stock to jab a stiff index finger in her direction.

The nearest officer turned away from his conversation with a lab-coated tech, a slightly annoyed expression on his face. “What is it, sol…?” And then he saw her. And got the same wolf-lust look in his eye.

The bustle went right out of the scene as one by one they turned to apprise the new object of interest in their midst. And as they drank in the messy, blast-ravaged sight of her, they all, to a man, got the look. Okay, she had to concede, the one over there in the labcoat didn’t have it, and neither did the strapping sergeant to her immediate left. And she couldn’t really be sure what was going on under the helmets of the men in the radiation-proof suits. But the rest of them just stood leering for a long, quiet moment that was as poignant as it was awkward. She hadn’t said a word, hadn’t done a thing, had hardly moved a muscle since wandering upon them. And she had them all mesmerized. Maybe they just weren’t used to seeing girls around these parts?

“Sir?” the first soldier managed again, and the officer seemed to snap out of his horndog stupor, yanking his pistol from its holster and holding it pointed at the sky. 

“Halt!” he barked, and she hadn’t even been aware she was moving. She really just wanted a peek inside the car. She did as she was told like a good little girl, and the thought of that made her giggle again. 

Those who were armed swung their rifles and sidearms towards her now, none of them quite wanting to poke the barrels at her, but just to let her know they were paying attention. 

“What…where did you come from?” the officer asked.

She nodded her head back toward the blast area. “Ground zero, I guess.”

“Were you…how did you get out here?”

She cast a meaningful glance at the ruined luxury car. 

“You were…with him?” The officer’s face wavered between a look of deep empathy and total suspicion, but never quite losing that lusty undercurrent.

“Do you mind?” she asked, gesturing at the car.

The strapping sergeant stepped aside and she got her first good look at what was left of the man she’d pledged her life to. Slumped behind the wheel, one eye open, the other gone, along with about a quarter of his skull. It was the first dead body she’d ever seen, besides her grandfather in his funeral casket, already stuffed and mounted. But she’d seen pictures, and in death, Jackson Tennifer looked like most dead men did. Beyond vulnerable. Pathetic. The sad empty vessel of a life spent in perpetual terror and confusion, not the least bit clued in or prepared for the moment when life meted out the final punchline.

“Did you know this man?”

Visalia snorted. “Not in the least.” It wasn’t even a lie.

“What were you doing out here?”

“Just passing through,” she said with a smirk. Part of her couldn’t believe the way she was talking to these men, and not just any men, but real legitimate figures of authority. Federal authority. But it also felt like the most natural thing in the world. They weren’t above her, after all, and their silly game of War didn’t really mean anything, did it? They were little boys playing dress up, and taking it as gravely serious as all little boys did. And here she was, in no-girls-allowed country, distracting and confounding them and reminding them all why there were no girls allowed in the first place.

She started to move again, not so much eager to get away as simply done and over with the whole dull scene, but caught a glimpse of herself in the absurdly outsized sideview mirror of the Vanderbuilt. She’d been right to begin with. She was a wreck. Smudged, bruised, hair undone from its tight bun and flying behind her in a wild tangle. Not only was she barefoot and sporting skinned knees like a schoolgirl, but at some point she’d lost the last of her ruined dress and was wearing only her satin slip—Jackson was too cheap to ever buy her silk, must’ve been saving for his sweet ride. Her makeup had all been cried or sweated away. Both slip and bra-strap had slid off her shoulder and her left breast was precariously close to revealing itself to the eyes of the U.S. Armed Forces, et al. She looked, if she dared think it of herself, alluring. Sensuous. Even her facial expression had some heretofore unseen come-hither quality. She thought the face in the mirror might wink back at her. Then it did. She wasn’t sure she knew this person, but she instantly liked her. She clearly didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about her, and that was probably the sexiest quality of all. That and she had a pretty incredible figure, which the Widow Tennifer had known all along, or at least since she used to stand naked before the mirror back in Sioux Falls and compare herself to the bathing beauties in the movie magazines. By the time she looked away from the mirror and back at the men, she knew exactly why they were all looking at her that way. Beyond the obvious novelty of a half-dressed woman sashaying out of the desert in the wake of an A-test, she, Visalia, or this woman who had taken hold of what was once Visalia, was truly something to behold. They weren’t just looking at a woman; they were gazing upon a Goddess and not one of them had the first clue what to do with her. Typical men.

One of them, a young private barely out of grade school from the look of him, gave his head a puppy-like shake and stepped forward, jamming his rifle at her. “Stay right where you are!” he blurted, trying his best to sound menacing and authoritative, but his quavery adolescent voice wasn’t up to the task.

Without a thought, she reached out and gently took hold of the barrel, cupping it, giving it a suggestive stroke. As she stared into his helpless eyes, she felt the heat surge up from somewhere deep inside her and the gunmetal began to melt, literally melt, in her fist.

“Ooh, what happened?” she asked, coquettish and sly. “You went soft on me.”

The private staggered backwards, staring with disbelief at the now-useless weapon in his hands.

“It’s been real, fellas,” she murmured breezily, moving on.

“Halt!” the officer commanded again, but she could tell his heart wasn’t in it. “Identify yourself!”

She stopped, half-turned, and put a hand on her hip. She had to think about it, but only for a second. “They call me…Victoria Atomblast.” 

She didn’t know where that came from, but she knew it wasn’t a lie either.

 

GENERAL PUBLIC, PART 5

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED

Detroit, Michigan March 1, 1957

The irony of joining a union so soon after the debacle in Chicago was not lost on Brock. But this was the UAW, one of the most powerful unions in the country, and the benefits and pay were nothing for an honest laborer to sneeze at. If he lasted the first year, and he had little doubt he would, his bonus would outstrip even the hazard pay the Army had shunted his way after his most harrowing super-ordeals.

He liked the work, too. Manual labor suited him, as did the efficiency of the assembly line, a point-to-point system of men in near-perfect tune with the automation, a precision-dependent work regimen that was perfectly suited to the muscle-memory mindset of a soldier. And indeed, most of the men he shared the line with were veterans, too, though it was unlikely any of them had ever faced Captain Panzer, the Human Tank in the North African desert, or fought the Rising Son in the sky over Hiroshima as Little Boy did his dirty atomic business below. For their benefit, Brock invented a backstory for himself that included storming the beach at Normandy, fighting at Market Garden, and surviving Bastogne, all as a regular grunt.

Every so often, he’d hear a couple of the other men discussing General Public, wondering what had become of him, or swapping stories–mostly secondhand tales retooled to support the claim that they’d been there–about accompanying him on wild exploits.

“He saved my ass at Guadalcanal, I tell ya,” one man would say.
“How could he? He was in the ETO then, leading my squad on a raid against the MechaKraut!” another man would argue.

“What, you think he can’t be two places at once?” a third guy would ask. “He’s freakin’ General Public!”

“I hear there’s more’n one of ‘em.”

“Nah, that’s a lot of malarkey. They broke the mold makin’ that guy.”

“I hear he broke it himself, just to keep them from makin’ more.”

“It’s just an expression. You think he came outta a mold, like he’s Jell-O?”

“Sure turned to Jell-O in Chicago, didn’t he?”

And with that, they’d grow mostly silent, kind of morose. Even the ones that poked fun at the guy in the ridiculous outfit (“Ain’t even regulation colors? What makes him so special?” “Uh, everything about him, ya ultramaroon!”) seemed disturbed at his disappearance. Apparently, he’d underestimated the impact of the living symbol of their harsh struggle and ultimate victory in the face of evil suddenly losing his shit and vanishing into the wind. If life back home could break the General, what was going to become of them?

“What’dya think, Stone?” someone would inevitably ask as he sat silently in the breakroom, just taking in the chatter with a bemused half-grin. “What become of the General?”

“Maybe his job was done. Ever think of that? Maybe he just wanted to come home, settle into a nice normal life out of the glare of the public eye. Find some peace, start a family. Isn’t that why you guys did it?”

They’d get quiet again, a couple of them nodding, a few others shaking their heads.

“He coulda said something,” someone would say.

“Ah, he didn’t owe us nothing. Stone’s right. Guy gave plenty. I say wherever he’s at, God bless ya, Pubby! You done right by this old soldier.”

Words like that, when they reached his ears, were better than any medal.

Every so often, he and a few of the other vets–the ones with the heaviest combat experience–would get pulled off the line for a special detail. It usually had to do with a clean-up in the crash test room, or occasionally an accident during a test run of some new experimental vehicle or another, the thinking being that men who’d seen much worse in combat wouldn’t lose their lunch over a chimpanzee or human cadaver that had just been turned into a hundred-plus pounds of ground chuck.

Brock never said no, but every time, he prayed it wouldn’t be an ape of any kind. The very first time he’d had to pull the limp remains of a dead chimp with absolutely no say in how his life turned out from the crumpled wreckage of a Vanderbuilt Shadow sports coupe, he’d found himself right back inside that Austrian mountain lab, with the helpless ape-boy strapped to the table waiting for the horrors to come. At least that time, he was able to save the animal-man. On the Vanderbuilt test floor, not so much. So as he made his way with a couple of his workmates to the exterior test field, a Jeep-ride away from the rear facility entrance, he found himself chanting his strange new mantra, “Please be a corpse. Please be a corpse. Please be a corpse.”

As they came upon the scene, Brock knew this wasn’t the normal test-crash scenario. The way the vehicular wreckage was strewn far and wide, the fact that there were medics and nurses at the site performing what amounted to battlefield triage, the evidence of more than one or two “test bodies” and more than likely actual collateral victims told him that something had gone terribly wrong here. He imagined the only reason they hadn’t heard it all the way inside was the roar of their own machines. He also knew that there would be visits from legal after this, papers to sign, sworn oaths of confidentiality in this matter. And he would sign them dutifully and without protest because all he wanted was to keep a low profile and this job.

A couple of men were running around barking orders like a two-headed dog, both acting like they were fully in charge while not challenging each other’s authority. One of them, balding and sweat-stained, his expensive suit smoke-blacked and blood-spattered, his threatening cigar aimed like a weapon at whoever crossed his field of vision, was Carlton Fuller, company president. Brock recognized him from the portrait and accompanying bronze bust in the lobby. The other, in full dress regalia, a bloom of medals on his puffed-out chest splayed like peacock feathers, Brock recognized from his other life. General Beauregard Flagstaff, formerly Colonel Flagstaff, one of Dwight D.’s most trusted advisors during the war. A real bastard, who clearly brimmed with simmering resentment every time he’d had to defer to the wishes of the honorary super-officer General Public. Technically, Public never outranked him, because the title had more to do with image-creation than any actual position of command, but time and again, Eisenhower, Patton, MacArthur and the others had happily taken his lead, largely because Public got battle-tested results, and in no small part because it took the heat of potential operations failure off of them.

When he spotted the civilian workers approaching, Flagstaff puffed up even more, and Brock was sure the big man was in danger of providing a secondary explosion by spontaneously bursting from his own skin.

“Fuller, what is the meaning of this? Why are these men here!”

“They’re our designated clean-up crew, General. You got a problem with that?”
“Yes I do! This is a military exercise, and it’s our job to not only clean this up, but to keep as tight a lid as possible on what happened here. And that means not bringing in another half-dozen looky-loos to get a gander at this godforsaken mess!”

“No, General, what this is, or was, is a commercial test of an experimental technology for the purpose of securing a government contract. You are guests here, and this disaster is completely our responsibility. My responsibility. I appreciate whatever help your men can provide, of course, and believe me when I say, the Vanderbuilt board wants this to get out even less than you do, and we’ll do everything we can to ensure that. Won’t we, boys?”

With that, he turned his attention directly to Brock and the others. But mostly to Brock. His eyes fixed him with a laser-like stare, his face a mask of phony camaraderie and genuine impatient expectation.

“That’s right, sir,” Brock said, nodding solemn agreement. Luckily, his own carefully cultivated obsequiousness in the face of authority figures served him well when he had to knuckle under and make them look good. Brock certainly didn’t fear, and didn’t even particularly respect, the so-called authority that a uniform or a title supposedly imposed upon a man, knew that these separations between individuals were arbitrary and frequently decorative, relying entirely on a tacit agreement between multiple parties that such distinctions did in fact exist. His main reason for bowing to the whims of leaders, be they worthy of respect or just petty tyrants-in-training, was expediency. The quicker he said yes, or appeared to acquiesce to their expectations, the sooner he could get on with the job at hand. Sure, part of it was duty, but the larger portion was simply a means to lubricating the engines of progress and forward motion.

“See, General. I may be no more than a businessman, but I run a tight ship. Just like you. My men are loyal and true. Just like yours.”

Also, in this particular instance, in light of his history with Flagstaff, a despot in military finery, helping Fuller look good came with its own minor reward.

“Let’s get to it, boys,” Brock said, taking charge without a second thought. “Jessup, Ralston, you take the West end of the field. Any debris too large to be picked up by at least several men, tag it for automated retrieval. Everything else, sweep toward the center and create a pile…”

“Hang on a sec, Stone,” Jessup chirped. “Who made you boss?”

“I did,” Fuller said, and gave Brock an approving nod that seemed to come from a place of sincere, if noncommittal, admiration.

A young junior executive ran up, breathless. “Sir, the technicians are having some difficulty retrieving the…” He glanced at Brock and his team and carefully considered his word choice. “…essential materiel.”

“What’s the problem?”

“The cockpit pod’s more or less intact. But the hatch lid fused in the heatblast.”

“Can’t we burn it open or something?”

“So far it’s resisting all their best efforts, sir.”

By the time Fuller turned his head to say something to Brock, he was already halfway across the field, approaching the scorched and blast-twisted metal pod.

The lab-coated techs were working feverishly, the ground around them littered with broken bits of wrenches, screwdrivers, crowbars. Now they were trying to burn through the hatch cover with some kind of superheated torch.

“You’re just welding the welding,” Brock said, his voice steady and commanding, trying his best not to make them feel like assholes.

“You got something better, worker-bee?”

“Maybe.”

The snippy tech stepped aside with a “be my guest” flourish. Brock cracked his knuckles and stepped forward. He had a moment of self-doubt before he put his hands on the thing. He’d torn the hatches off Panzers with his bare hands, punched through cockpit glass on Kamikaze jets over Midway, but with the chemicals out of his system, what made him think he could do this now?

“Hands? Is that your plan? You think we haven’t all tried that? Thing is, all that steel and glass is still cooling down from a toasty 1000 degrees or so.”

“I have gloves,” Brock said, and pulled his work gloves from his back pocket.

“I hope they’re made of lead.”

Brock placed one hand on the steaming glass and the other on the jagged metal lip where it once met the body of whatever kind of craft this was and gave it a tentative tug. Nothing. Not even a millimeter’s budge.

“How much oxygen you figure he’s got left in there?” one of the techs asked rather casually, lighting a First Strike off the side of the pod.

“Does he even need oxygen?”

“He…?” Brock murmured. “You mean there’s someone alive in there!?”

“Someone? Arguable. Something. Yes. Alive? Eh, that’s a question for a higher authority than me.”

Great, Brock thought. Another dead ape. But that did it. Not on my watch, he thought. Not if I can do a damned thing about it.

He took hold of the heat-fused hatch edge and pulled with all his might, feeling the gloves start to sizzle, feeling the burn right through them, smelling the mixture of leather and flesh as they sizzled. Wondering, will the gloves fuse to me like this hatch to itself? He tore the gloves off and went again, and this time, something moved. There was a terrific rending of steel and popping of glass, but even so, it was barely a hairline crack when he reached the limit of his exertion. Ignoring the pain in his fingers, he took a deep breath–not as helpful as he’d hoped, with the air full of smoke and reeking of jet fuel–and went again. This time, the edge started to curl back and someone behind him, maybe Jessup, let out a low wolf-whistle.

“Holy shit, he’s doin’ it!”

Another foul breath, another tensing of his shoulders, another reaching all the way down to the core of his being to do what he did best. Or used to. And what he’d always done best, really, was persevere. Against the odds, in the face of brutal, unrelenting elements both natural and manmade, he’d been the steadfast uncompromising rock, the true spirit of the American fighting man, beating the odds, cheating death and laughing in its face. His vision went red from the pain and the exertion and he saw MoMo again, the helpless creature in chains and in pain, saw the faces of the half-starved and half-dead children at Dachau, saw the terrified Londoners trying to make it home from the corner shop as V2’s rained on quaint, cobbled streets. Saw the faces of all the people he’d saved and all those he couldn’t and screamed from the memory and the moment, a bellow of rage and despair and defiance that mingled with the whining shriek of resistant metal and the angry crackle of splitting super-thick glass as the hatch buckled and gave way and he twisted it free and hurled it without thinking, sending it spinning toward a cluster of soldiers who managed to scurry out of its trajectory just in the nick of time.

“What were you in a past life? Circus strongman?” the formerly snippy tech asked, crushing out his cigarette and giving Brock an approving clap on his aching back.

“Goddamn hero, this one!” Ralston said.

“Screw that, Stone. Yer a goddamn superhero!”

“I hate to burst your bubble, boys, but whether he saved anyone’s day is still up for debate,” the tech said, peering into the shattered interior of the ruined cockpit.

Brock looked over his shoulder and what he saw made him shudder all the way down to his rock-solid core. The thing in the pilot’s seat was neither man nor beast, but a little bit of both, a grey-fleshed mass of scar tissue and stitches with milk-glass eyes, looking very much like one of the crash test cadavers, but without the mummy-wrap of bandages that were used as much to hold them together as for a kind of discreet acknowledgement that hey, this guy was human once. But this was no ordinary corpse because in spite of its many injuries, past and immediate, in spite of the metal strut through its torso and the chunk of instrument panel protruding from its cheek and the right arm hanging loosely where the forearm had snapped in half, this test subject was moving, trying to free itself with a kind of flailing determination, but no hint of panic or pain. The wild-rolling eyes, lifeless yet strangely mischievous, fixated briefly on Brock, or maybe something just behind him.

“Did I do good?” it asked in a dry, terrible rasp that turned Brock’s shudder into a cold fear-spasm.

And then it got worse.

“You did very well, mein junge,” said a voice from behind Brock. “And we’ll have you back in fighting form in no time.”

Cold fear became hot panic, and Brock stiffened in place. He knew that voice. He’d heard it in his nightmares.

From the cockpit, the crash test monstrosity grinned idiotically and gave the Nazi at Brock’s shoulder a twitchy, spastic thumbs-up.

PUBLIC CITIZEN

Detroit, Michigan Early December, 1956

He came awake in darkness, the sounds of street life and the neon flicker interrupting another one of his dreams. Dream, hell, he thought, another nightmare. But he felt vaguely human now, still tired but not the same bone-deep exhaustion that brought him here. 

He dragged himself to the bathroom down the hall and splashed water on his face, badly in need of a shave now. Strange to see. Even during the war, he had to take the razor to his cheeks everyday. Part of the image. Five o’clock shadow just didn’t fit with the steadfast superman. Ragged glory was okay for the enlisted men, but General Public had to project a magazine-ready picture of stoic male perfection at all times. 

His eyes were bloodshot and faraway, looking inward at the pictures of his action-packed past, all those mental images that looked like adventure to everyone but him. To him, it was just endless fear and anxiety stretching back as far as memory would walk him. But as he stood there in his sweat-gray undershirt, shy of the costume that had consumed his identity for so long, he gave his shoulders a shrug and could feel the new lightness, the freedom that came with laying down a heavy burden. 

He dressed in the clothes he’d stolen off a Chicago clothesline–just a simple plaid workshirt and chinos–and the hobnail boots he’d taken off a sleeping hobo on the freight train and made his way downstairs, passing the man behind the bullet-proof front desk glass.

“You leaving? You owe me two more nights, pal!”

“Just going out for dinner.”

“Yeah, well, much as I hate to cut into your liquor fund, how ‘bout you pay up first?”

Brock straightened to his full height, squared his shoulders, and gave the man the same look that froze Rudolf Hess in his tracks when he and Buck Private brought down his plane over Scotland. The desk man’s inert expression didn’t change, but Brock detected the motion of his hand clenching around something out of sight. A revolver? A bat? An axe-handle? No matter. Brock turned up one corner of his mouth and shook his head ever-so-slightly, his signature “Don’t even think about it” look. Worked like a charm. He may have ditched the persona, but General Public was still inside him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but he was willing to work it.

The desk man relaxed and turned his full attention back to his crossword puzzle. “Enjoy your ‘meal.’”

Brock relaxed too, shrinking back into the shape of a solid citizen, just another regular Joe. 

As he headed for the street, the desk man called after him. “Hang on a second, mister!”

Brock tensed, ready for trouble, if there was going to be any. 

“What’s a seven letter word for ‘freedom from tyranny’? Last letter’s a ‘y.’”

“Liberty,” Brock said without hesitation.

The desk man counted silently on his fingers, nodded.
“Liberty it is.”

As the desk man put pencil to paper, Brock turned and walked out into the cold night of a strange town.

 

Brock found a greasy spoon half a block from the flophouse and figured he had enough pocket change–also lifted off his sleeping hobo friend–to afford a cup of coffee and the pork chop special, which turned out to be decidedly less special than advertised. Still, it was the first food he’d put in his belly since Chicago, and for that alone he was grateful. 

In spite of his disheveled appearance, he was easily the most normal-looking patron in the place. The rest were an assortment of late-night street life types, probably a few fellow flophouse guests, a couple of streetwalkers and their “management,” and a guy slumped in the far corner booth who could easily have been that poor disenfranchised gent from the train, but more than likely just wore the same standard-issue hobo uniform. Either way, he took no notice of Brock, lost in a private reverie that almost definitely included memories as bleak and strong as Brock’s own, and nearly as bitter as this joint’s awful coffee.

He didn’t know if it was boredom or if he really just looked that much better by comparison, but the waitress took a special interest in him almost from the moment he sat down.

“You’re not one of my regulars,” she said, pouring him a refill that had to be at least his sixth.

“Just passing through,” he said, and tried his damnedest to smile.

“On your way up, or down?” she asked, and he found himself enjoying her brutal frankness.

“Too early to call,” he replied, smiling for real this time.

“Well, it ain’t gettin’ any earlier.”

She wasn’t exactly pretty, but she had an offhand, seen-better-days sexiness about her, the sort who didn’t seem to mind that life hadn’t exactly served her up its most generous portions, or at least wasn’t going to let you know if she did.

 

On the way up to his room, the desk man cleared his throat and jerked a thumb at the sign behind him: 

NO GUESTS AFTER 10 PM.

“I’m his sister,” Dinah the waitress said.

“Well, Romeo here owes me four and half bucks, sister.”

She slapped a five on the counter and pushed it toward the desk man. “Family takes care of its own,” she said.

“Well, for half a saw, I hope he takes care a ya real good,” the desk man sneered, until he caught Brock giving him the look again.

“Keep the change,” she said, grabbing Brock by the bicep–which she gave an admiring squeeze, purring low in her throat– and leading him toward the stairs.

The desk man started whistling and it took Brock until they reached the landing to call the tune: “Just a Gigolo.”

Once she got him upstairs, she made sure she got what she paid for. Now he knew how the ladies felt, rented by the hour. Still, it was a relief. He thought sure he’d be paying her.

 

She didn’t leave right away, even though he got the idea that she wanted to. In a strange way, she reminded him of the army nurses, the ones who saw the wounds in your eyes before they noticed the ones in your flesh. He sensed that it didn’t come naturally to her, this nurturing thing, but she could tell he needed someone just to be there for a little while, and with an inward sigh, she bit the bullet and stayed.

She kept herself interested marveling at his musculature, and fetishizing his scar tissue, caressing every bulge and ripple, lightly touching and tickling every starfish-shaped bullet entry point, jagged knife wound, and miniature railroad line of battlefield surgical repair. The fleshy topographic map of his Euro-Asiatic world tour of pain.

“So, what’s a nice girl like you doing in a shitbox like this?” she asked him finally, taking the cigarette they were sharing from his lips and inhaling a lungful.

“Reinventing myself,” Brock said. It was a mildly diverting game, telling the truth without giving anything away.

“You looking for work?”

It hadn’t even crossed Brock’s mind yet, oddly enough. He’d known where his paychecks were coming from for nearly two decades now, and even though he was stone broke, where the next wad originated wasn’t yet among his concerns.

“Guess I am.”

“What can you do? Big strapping guy like you, I’m guessing it ain’t gonna be poetry or folk songs.”

“I’ve done a lot of work with my hands.”

“Auto industry’s always hiring. Nice cushy union gig. A year or so on the assembly line, you could buy yourself a sweet little house, wife, kids, maybe even a dog. The whole American dream.”

“I guess I could do worse.”

“My husband’s got a cousin, union shop steward over at Vanderbuilt ‘Motives. I bet he could fix you up.”

Brock gave her a hard look. “Husband?”

“Oh c’mon,” she pressed into him, her fingers tracing the old, appropriately lightning-strike-shaped wound from Die Ubermensch’s blitz-rifle just below his left ribcage. “Like you care.”

The fact was, he did care. He didn’t want to think he was the kind of man who played other men for fools, or consorted with spoken-for women. But as she moved back into him, he didn’t have the will to push her away. Who was he to say no? After all, she’d paid for it.

Finding MoMo

Zugspitze, German Alps May Day 1945

As General Public and his men rode the Tyrolean Cable Car that would deposit them at an arête just below the summit, there was much speculation about whether they would encounter any meaningful resistance on the mountain. Though word of Hitler’s suicide a day prior was spreading rapidly, and the war was all but won, Germany had yet to surrender officially, and it was entirely possible that whoever was stationed way up here had no idea that the end was nigh. Worse, maybe they did, and were willing to fight to the last man in some misguided attempt to preserve German honor.

General Public had decided against bringing a sidekick. He’d already lost three Buck Privates during the course of the war, and he wasn’t about to sacrifice another eager youngster to the vagaries of combat with only days, maybe even hours, left in the contest. After all, you could fight-train a teenage kid to your heart’s content, but when it came down to a heavy-duty firefight against challenging, if not impossible, odds, they tended to be cannon fodder. The first Buck died before they even left Camp Turtleton, killed by a live round during a training exercise. The next one was crisped alive in midair during a drop-in behind enemy lines, and the third committed suicide a couple days after the liberation of Auschwitz.

When they reached their destination, it was a quick but dangerous climb around the mountain and down to the cave entrances that led to the secret Nazi labs. With the exception of one frozen German soldier, fourteen years of age at most and probably dead of starvation by the look of him, they encountered no sign of the enemy. That held true all the way through the winding tunnels, which grew smoother and warmer as they approached the main entrance, signs of work and a hint of civilization slowly emerging from the unyielding rock. The men’s nerves began to ease as they continued on their way, some of them even joking a little about what they might find, or who was going to be the token unlucky guy who never made it home after getting so close. The typical dark yet playful humor of guys who’ve seen too much too young and still didn’t know if they’d live to tell about it, or if they’d ever tell about it even if they did. The General had to shush their giggling as they rounded a bend in the tunnel and came face to face with a hinged steel door decorated with a bas relief Iron Eagle and a sign reading:

ACHTUNG! NUR WESENTLICHE PERSONAL.

GEBEN SIE AUF EIGENES RISIKO.

“Whattaythink, boys? We essential enough for ‘em?” the General asked his men.

“Hell yeah!”

“Damn skippy!”

“We’ll show ‘em who’s takin’ the big risky-o!”

“Stand back, fellas,” said an over-enthusiastic corporal. “I got this one!”

“Corporal, don’t!” Public shouted, but it was too late. The corporal let loose with his Thompson and the bullets ricocheted off the reinforced steel, lighting up the cave with muzzle flash and sparks, filling it with auto-chatter and stray lead. The General managed to get the three men closest to him down and out of the way, and the two on the other side of the corporal ducked of their own accord. When the chaos cooled, only the corporal was still on his feet, but his mad grin was gone, replaced by a look of stunned surprise, and creeping fear.

“P…Pubby?”

“Son?”

“I’m sorry.”

The General choked down his fury and tried to say something reassuring, but before he could, the boy turned to him, and Public spotted the wound. Just below the right eye, a black smoking hole that only now began to cry blood, mixing with the soldier’s frightened tears.

“I killed me,” he said, and the rifle dropped first, then the rest of him.

The men were somber after that, unsure of themselves all over again, stealing only superstitious glances at the corpse of their comrade slung across the General’s shoulders like Christ’s own cross. A stark reminder, in war you didn’t always need a live enemy to do you in. Public did his best to keep them focused on the mission at hand. Until the corporal’s untimely death, it looked like a simple mop-up operation. Probably still was.

The steel door opened with a simple twist of the wheel in its center, probably the least amusing irony in history as far as this little unit was concerned, and they crossed the threshold with the tenuous pace of someone stepping for the first time through an interdimensional portal, or the doors of a new homeroom class. Every one of them waiting for the booby trap, the accidental fate-changer that might spell their doom, the invisible Jerry-rigged dealer of death.

From the look of the place, it had been abandoned in a hurry, no time to gather everything, no time to destroy it all, maybe a dim hope that it would remain undiscovered, and its inhabitants could return to their work at leisure sometime after the hostilities ended.

“Quiet as a church in here,” Foster piped up.

“When you ever been in a church, Foster, you fuckin’ heathen?” Spitz wanted to know, but the others shushed them before the exchange could go further.

It was a lab alright, but Public couldn’t wrap his head around what kind of work the Nazis were doing here. It was just glass and tubes and steel all formed into instruments and tech that was beyond his nuts-and-bolts comprehension.

“Lookit the size of these things,” Large muttered, and Public turned to see.

In the West wall of the cave-lab were rows of enormous glass containers, ten across, four high, reaching nearly two stories. Large stepped forward and wiped the glass.

“Oh. My. God,” he said. A second later, he jumped back.

Public was there in a heartbeat, not even pausing as he set poor dead Corporal Risetti on a lab table. He pushed Large out of the way protectively and looked through the glass. Inside the big tube, afloat in some green liquid that looked like dirty seawater, was a man. Or kind of a man. It looked like parts of several men, really, the way it was all stitched together at the joints, the way the skin tone of the forearm didn’t match the hand or upper arm, a mosaic of human pieces, a living puzzle. And it was alive. Its eyes were open and underneath the breathing mask affixed to its nose and mouth it seemed to be trying to communicate something to him, one discolored arm trying feebly to reach for the glass. When the arm rose a little, General Public saw the tattoo, a string of blue-black numbers running upward from the underside of the wrist. That should have been the worst of it right there, that and the lonely terror in its eyes, but there was more. There were dials on its chest and knobs below that and some kind of Frankenstein bolts in its forehead and something that might have been an on/off switch near the armpit, an amperage meter over the heart, tubes coming out of one end and going back into another and a spigot—a goddamned spigot—coming out of its groin.

“Holy shit,” Large said, stepping up beside him. “This is worse’n Auschwitz.”

“What do we do with ‘em, Pubby?” Foster asked.

The General looked deeply into the pleading eyes of the man-like thing in front of him. “We set them free.”

It wasn’t a great idea. Most of the ones that weren’t already dead didn’t last long outside of their containment tubes. Apparently the viscous sewer sludge they were floating in was key to keeping them alive and even Spitz, the closest thing they had to a field medic, didn’t have a clue what to do with them. Even the ones who showed signs of life—mostly feeble twitches and the occasional violent spasm—didn’t register normal pulses or heartbeats or any recognizable hints of genuine mortality. As for the rest…

Three of the test subjects, including the one that had seemed to plead for its freedom, weren’t exactly grateful to be on the outside, if their actions were any indication. That first one went straight for Large, and since Public was determined not to lose any more men today, he stepped in and delivered a one-two punch meant only to pacify the thing, but wound up with one gloved fist sunk deeply into its torso while his other knocked its head almost clean off its shoulders. The stench was incredible, a hellish reek of rot and death, but it kept fighting, so the General, figuring his hand was already in there anyway, reached further in and got a grip on its spine, trying to snap it. To his surprise, he found it was reinforced, a spindle of jointed steel, so he had no choice but to rip the whole thing out from the front, reducing the living dead thing to a jelly-like blob that continued to twitch and writhe until Large unloaded a clip into it.

Behind him he heard a scream, unmistakably Durazzo, and Public sprang into action. But by the time he turned around, Durazzo was gutting another of the test subjects with a Fascist Youth knife he’d picked up in Italy.

“Guys! Help me out here!” Foster this time, frozen in fear and looking down at something.

“Whatcha waitin’ for, Foster! Shoot it!” Large screamed. But Foster didn’t move until the thing knocked him over and they all saw why he couldn’t react.

It was a child, a little girl, at least the head was, maybe nine years old, all done up in the house style with gears and dials and mismatched patches of half-dead flesh.

Spitz jumped on it from behind and plunged a morphine syrette into its neck, which only seemed to make it angrier. It clamped its little fingers onto Foster’s neck not so much to choke as to dig, tearing at the skin like it wanted something inside of it. Maybe it did.

“Spitz, outta the way!” the General roared, as he leapt across the space between them and cleaved the thing in two with his battle sword in one fluid motion.

“Jeezus loweezus,” Large muttered when it was over. “I seen my share a’ weird shit travelin’ with you, Pubby, but that may just bake the cake right there.”

“Can we get outta here now?” Foster asked, as Spitz was tending to the deep but superficial scratches on his neck.

“Stifle it, ya pussy, I’m tryin’ to work here.”

General Public nodded solemnly. “Sure, Foster. We can go. Just as soon as we wire every inch of this place so we can blow it to kingdom come.”

And that’s what they did. Setting charges, rigging detonators, packing the whole thing with enough explosives to take the top off of the Zugspitze. He knew the brass at Strategic Command would be pissed, and maybe if he felt like it he’d even come up with a lie about what happened up here, but whatever there was to be learned from this place, whatever secrets they’d want to send their scientists up to pry out of the mountain rock, this was knowledge that no one needed. This kind of shit couldn’t help a soul.

They were almost done, almost out the door and ready to reduce this living hell to rubble, when he heard Durazzo, shouting from one of the anterior research rooms where he’d been planting his bombs.

“Hey, Pubby! I think you better see this!”

Public and the others stopped what they were doing and made for the small room, where they found Durazzo standing over a metal surgical table, looking down at something—or someone—on the table.

“Is that a gorilla?” Spitz asked.

“Sure looks like it,” Durazzo replied.

“Not like any gorilla I ever seen. Too pink.”

“When you ever seen a gorilla, Foster? Lemme guess. Church?”

“Brooklyn Zoo, you dumb fuck.”

“Save a guy’s life and that’s the thanks.”

General Public ignored them and stepped toward the table, taking in the beast that was strapped there, which did resemble an ape in all the most notable ways, but something about it, maybe it was just that its black hair wasn’t as thick as it should be, made it look very human. Not it. Him, Public noted, glancing down at its impressive nethers. Definitely a him.

He lowered his ear to its chest and there was no mistaking the weak but steady thump beneath the fur and flesh.

“He’s alive,” he informed the others.

Large racked his carbine. “Maybe we oughta fix that,” he said.

“No.”

“C’mon, Pubby, we seen what these things can do.”

“He’s not like the others. Look at him.”

And it was true. There were no gears, no dials, no meters, no tubes. Clearly no spigot.

“You think maybe they just didn’t get finished with this one?” Spitz asked.

“He may be some other kinda experiment. No reason to think he ain’t dangerous,” Durazzo added.

“Look, they already shaved his head. Looks like a friggin’ monk. Why’d they do that? Huh? Bet they did something to his brain, filled him fulla Nazi hate juice or something.”

“How fuckin’ scientific.”

“I say we leave it where it is, blow this shithole and be done with it,” Large said, then spit on the beast. “Fuckin’ Natzees.”

“Not your call,” Public said, cutting a towering figure that blocked the others from the table and made his intentions clear. Just then, the beast’s paw jerked in its leather strap and closed around the General’s wrist.

Large raised his rifle, Durazzo yanked his knife, but General Public held up his free hand to stay them. He turned and lowered his ear again, this time near the beast’s lips.

“Hilf mir,” the ape-thing whispered. Help me.

The cigarette in Spitz’s mouth fell from his lips. “Fuck a duck. That monkey just said words.”

Four hours later, General Public marched with the survivors of his unit into the Tyrol, a dead corporal slung over one shoulder, and a live ape-man on the other.

General Public, Part Two

Aside

BROCK STONE

Detroit, Michigan Thanksgiving 1956

General Public—no, Brock Stone; the General was dead to him now—made it as far as Detroit before the withdrawals started. While there may not have been any magic super-serum that transformed him from regular Joe to G.I. Jehovah, there had been a lot more than extra ammo and mystic weapons tech in those belt pouches. On the streets of Chicago, he’d left a pharmacopia of substances that had made General Public possible. The stimulants to improve his speed and agility, not to mention keep him conscious and in so-called fighting form for days at a stretch. Also the senso-enhancers that let him notice absolutely everything within the parameters of his sight, touch, hearing and smell, the mood stabilizers that allowed him to appear the perpetual paragon of unwaveringly upbeat virtue and fortitude, the constant synth-tosterone injections that increased his strength exponentially but made maintaining that supposed virtue off the battlefield that much more unlikely. Not to mention the powerful painkillers that were meant to dull the negative effects of the sensos, which had the unfortunate side effect of making every injury feel even more profound than it was. Problem was, he had to keep taking that stuff in regular and frequently increased dosages pretty much all the time in order to keep up the image. And if/when his supply went dry, which was wont to happen in the privations of a wartime setting, he was well and rightly screwed, crashing into an exhausted gibbering shivering wreck until he could sleep off the comedown or reach a resupply station. He once hid in a Bavarian barn for nearly two weeks waiting for a drop, more afraid of being found out by his own men than caught out by the Nazis. He finally managed to regain enough strength to make his escape by castrating six of the farmer’s bulls and devouring their testicles as a midnight snack.

Now he was going cold turkey, a strung-out ex-hero on the run, if not from actual justice, at least from the burden of being its living symbol.

He found a hotel—a flophouse really—in the heart of downtown, rented a room with the two dollars he’d found in the hollowed-out bootheel of a snoring hobo on the freight train that carried him away from his final battle and deposited him here. Dragged himself up six flights of stairs, kicking at rats with the last of his strength, their rodent hisses and snarls putting him in mind of Doktor Spleisser’s hideous mutant Dobermenschen. Staggered to the door past a sneering whore who briefly transformed into the uber-bitch Sister Hitler, the hapless sailor boy john on her arm never knowing the tortures that awaited him behind her door. Belly-crawled to the bed across a carpet of the dead and dying, trying not to put his hands in the guts and gore that spilled from yawning wounds. Climbed into the bed using the thin blanket like a hastily made rope ladder trailing from a speeding gyrocopter, a hateful face staring down at him from the cockpit, trying to kick him loose with a savage boot. He made it anyway, and threw himself down on the lumpy mattress before the hallucinations kicked off in earnest.

The neon sign blinking outside his window became the red flash of battlefield explosions, and Brock jerked away in spastic reflex. The shouts of people passing by down on State Street were the shocked and terrified screams of doomed soldiers who just wanted one more chance to see their mamas, or kiss their best girls. Brock prayed for unconsciousness, to a God he was sure had abandoned them all, but open or shut, all his eyes could see were nightmares.

All fighting men were witnesses to the unspeakable, but as the appointed savior of the free world, General Public beheld things that regulation dogfaces could scarcely comprehend.

At the entrance to the Hollow Earth, dead Nazi foot soldiers rose once again from the Antarctic snow, mindless killing machine-men with crudely implanted electrodes sending orders to their otherwise thoughtless brains. In his memory, he’d overcome them easily, knocking out servo-motors and pulling wires and watching them slow and still like unwound clocks, frozen statues in full uniform. But now they surged and swarmed, many more of them than he remembered, and it was they that were undoing him, one piece at a time. And he was helpless to stop them, helpless to reach the laughing bastard that created and controlled them, unable to stop the man as he removed Public’s silver helmet, and then his brittle skull…

As fingers sank into soft gray matter, he was transported to the skies over Luxembourg, onboard a dirigible filled with deadly nerve gas, as Air Marshal Bludwulf pumped round after round from his Luger into his impenetrable chest armor. Only this time, the bullets punched through like his uniform was tissue paper, sinking heavily into his torso and taking on lives of their own inside, not just puncturing organs or smashing against bone, but changing him in some terrible way. Bludwulf took the last parachute and jumped free—again, this wasn’t how it happened last time—laughing and falling away and firing one last shot right into the zeppelin’s hull. Just before it exploded and the world went white, Public saw that he wasn’t alone. The laughing maniac from the Hollow Earth expedition was there again, perfectly happy to sit behind the controls and let this play out, as long as it meant watching America’s Last Best Hope die in searing agony as he failed to save even a corner of the world.

The KamiNazi got the best of him on Iwo Jima, delivering a blast of energy that sent him flying nearly two hundred feet. “I’m okay,” he told the medic that rushed to his aid. “I was carried to safety by the explosion.” That was just as he remembered it. Until he looked down and saw that his legs had been blown off, one below the knee and one at the hip. The KamiNazi cheered his own victory and exploded, an orange-yellow blast of rising sun that swept across the island, flash-frying every hopeless soldier in its path. Even as the mushroom cloud turned the skies to winter night, the laughing man was there again, a strange pair of someone else’s legs tucked under his arms, and this time, he spoke. “Not to worry,” he said, and the General was pretty certain he was speaking German, but he understood the creep just fine. “I can fix you. You will be better than ever when I am through with you.” As he shoved the spare body parts against Brock’s bloodied stumps, they fused instantly into place, and he screamed in agony as his hypersenses felt every bit of the unnatural melding, and his body struggled to reject the unwanted limbs. As the shockwave and heat blast from KamiNazi’s self-destruction rolled over him in agonizing slow motion, his new foreign legs were forcing him to stand and walk…

…into a laboratory, high in the German Alps, enormous glass tubes filled with liquid, skinless bodies bobbing within like tropical fish specimens in an alien aquarium. He’d been here, too, after the fall of Berlin. There’d been no resistance then, no one to fight. Just him and a squadron of exhausted soldiers, hoping to find a comfortable bed to sleep in and maybe a hidden cache of fine European liquor, not more horror. But the horror never ended, even when the war did. And even if they were lucky to be alive, they hadn’t really escaped anything. Just moved to the next level of shit.

“It disturbs you, does it not?” The little sneering Nazi fuck again, emerging from the shadows in his labcoat, peering out from thick goggles, holding something under one arm, not a severed limb this time, but a strange jar of some kind, with dials and switches and an electric crackle emanating from one end, filled with thick green liquid and something floating inside, maybe some kind of mutant monster thing, and in the other hand, a giant steel syringe. “To know that in spite of all of your efforts, you have lost? That your own country has managed to handily snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? But did you ever believe, even if you truly managed to save it, that you would return to the same place you had left? It is not America that changed. It was always a dark and terrible place. It is you. The veil has lifted. For the first time, your eyes are truly open. And you are able to see Hell for what it is. And while it believes it has no more need of you, the hard, sad fact is, America needs you more than ever. But it is too late. And in a way, it always was…”

The Nazi rambled on, even as he plunged the syringe into the neck of the jar and drew some of the green stuff into it. When he did, the thing inside seemed to stir, and rolled toward Brock with a pair of wild staring hate-filled eyes on stalks. Eyes attached to a brain that was somehow miraculously alive in there.

Brock tried to say something. He’d been trying the whole time, but nothing would come. It was like he didn’t know any words. The brain in the jar was alive, but his was dead. And what did it matter, really? This was just a hallucination. In a few hours, or days, or weeks, all of this would end, and he’d be able to go downstairs, outside, grab a pint of whisky, eat some pork chops, find a girl to bang. And everything would be fine. Just fine.

“We are here, you know? Even as we speak—well, even as I speak—we walk and work and live among your people, occupying homes on your streets, enjoying the view from corner offices meant for you and yours, brought here on America’s dime, ready and willing to direct your future, to manipulate it to our own ends. To re-orient the path of history and bring the Reich back on track. This is not your homecoming. It never was. It is mine. America is the Fatherland of the Future. And you are a memory.”

His limbs were weak and heavy and even his new self-determined legs were buckling as the sneering Nazi scientist plunged the big needle into his neck, and Brock Stone let out a scream to beat the band.

the dept.

For the next few weeks, for those that follow (and event those that don’t) I’m going to be posting excerpts from my big magnum opus novel “the dept.: creation myths.” It’s a sprawling tale of superheroes, fugitive Nazis, atomic secrets, undead armies and Hitler’s disembodied brain set in the mid 20th century and will serve as the prequel to the modern-day series that started with “The Villain’s Sidekick.” Here’s the first blob of it, in which me meet the original supersoldier, General Public. Please to enjoy!

GENERAL PUBLIC

Chicago, Illinois November 1956

General Public stood on the steps of the Holy Name Cathedral, trying his best to look both menacing and reassuring, a near-impossible facial task to accomplish under the low-brim of his silver helmet and the domino mask over his eyes. Before him were throngs of clergy, nuns and their devout supporters. They were currently demonstrating for unionization. The Brotherhood of Catholic Priests Local 3:16 or something. The General wasn’t really sure of all the issues. Despite his supersoldier status and his public image as the living embodiment of the American fighting ideal, politics weren’t really his thing. But between the Vatican strikebreakers, the Teamsters, and the more radicalized nuns, things were threatening to get ugly in a hurry, and the General was on hand to keep the peace. He hoped against hope that his mere presence would be enough; his back hurt like hell and his bum knee had been giving him trouble ever since the weather started to cool.

Folk tales and hero worship aside, General Public, aka Brock Stone, took a serious beating doing his part for the war effort. After all, it was hard work being not only a symbol, but a guy who was expected to more or less perform as a one-man army, or at the very least a one-man platoon, especially if you had no superpowers to speak of. Oh, sure, the government made a big deal about the so-called “Project Olympus,” trotting Brock out in his impressively gaudy costume and making all sorts of claims to irradiation, liquid hydrogen infusions, and animal hybridization, but the fact was, Brock was just an incredibly fit, well-bred, and highly trained specimen of ordinary manhood. Never mind the fact that he was just north of forty when he was recruited to lead the all-American super-squad to allied victory, and hadn’t spent a minute in uniform since he’d been discharged from service during World War I for being fifteen at his time of enlistment.

Now here he was, in steel-blue and silver, medals decorating his broad chest like Christmas ornaments, .45 on one hip, saber on the other, grenades and ammo on his crossbelts, birth name secure behind a tiny strip of black cloth over his eyes, staring down a bunch of angry priests and their righteously indignant flocks, who were striking for a cut of the collection plate, higher quality wine, and fewer midnight masses, as near as he could figure. He found himself wondering if all those sermons preaching tolerance and compassion would hold sway in these circumstances, or if a bunch of men who had willingly chosen to deny themselves sex for the remainder of their lives would find their emotions overwhelmed by the lesser angels of their nature.

Then the chanting started. Demonstrators. Always with the chanting.

“We want raises to sing his praises!”

“If you want last rites give us our rights!”

Not bad, as angry chanting went. Maybe not as clever as the anarchists, but infinitely more poetic.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, we don’t want to work past seven!”

Okay, that one was pretty lame. But more heated.

“Fathers, brothers, sisters, everyone, please, calm down!” General Public shouted in his best authoritarian timbre. In spite of his name, public speaking really wasn’t his thing.

“Who asked you to come?” asked a priest near the front, possibly the ringleader, voice hoarse from long hours shouting to be heard by the Archdiocese in the morning chill. “This is an issue of the church, not the state!”

“Archbishop Stritch himself!” Public replied.

“Where the Hell is he then?” the priest wanted to know.

“He’s assured me that he’ll address all of your issues, once you’ve placed a formal request with the…”

Something hit him in the chest. A can of beans maybe, or a chunk of lead pipe. Whatever it was, it hurt, but years of perfectly honed reflexes kept him from letting the crowd see that. And his keenly sensitive nerve endings told him that the bruise was already forming, even beneath the armor. Damned senso-enhancers, making sure nothing got past him, not even the pain. Especially not the pain.

“That wasn’t very Christian of you,” General Public said calmly but firmly, doing his best to keep things light.

Something else hit him, on the side of his face, a wet slap of soft, spongy matter, hopefully food, maybe something worse.

“Turn the other cheek then!”

“Let he who is without sin…” Public began.

And then came the barrage, a sudden incoming flurry of objects small and large, hard and soft, sharp and blunt, rank and perfumed. And General Public lost his cool.

He dove from the top of the steps, headlong into the collared and habited crowd, and was met with a rain of fists and shoe heels, the weak, ineffectual blows of angry men and women with little real fighting spirit, and zero training. They were no match for his speed and agility, however diminished by age and injury, and between their pained cries were genuine gasps of astonishment at the brutal fact of his own battle-hardened fists and the savage kick of his steel-tooled army boots as he brought down an earthly taste of the torments of Hell on the insurrectionists. He hadn’t doled out this kind of punishment to a practicing Catholic since his mano a mano tussle with Pope Ignatius IX, the Gangster Pope, in Vatican Square during the fall of fascist Italy.

His pistol and sword remained safely sheathed, at least for the first several minutes. The angry onslaught, threatening to overwhelm him through sheer numbers, began to diminish as priest, nun and supporter fell to his might; soon, he’d have them on the run. But even as he landed blow after blow, he felt hands scrabbling at his utility pouches, scabbard and holster, and pretty soon a pair of hands came up clutching his nickel-plated .45, firing wildly and taking out a Benedictine monk and Father Chadwick from the South Side Parish. A nun had his gun. Without thinking, he snatched out with one hand and broke both her wrists as he wrested the pistol back into his own possession.

This was not going to look good in the papers.

“The door, it’s unguarded!” someone shouted, and there was an eternal microsecond of hesitation before the mad crush of pious protestors swarmed the steps. They didn’t get far.

The doors to Holy Name burst open and Public wasn’t entirely sure what poured out. Were they Chicago cops, Vatican-sent security forces, or a private army hired by the Archdiocese? Maybe they were all bishops and cardinals under that heavy steel armor, peering out from the eye-slits at their own people as they formed a tight line and marched forward, down the steps, firing through small weapons ports into the crowd. It was like the famous scene in that old Russian movie, as enacted by a battalion of clanking robots. The General even had a panicky moment where he had to make sure there was no baby carriage rolling down the steps. Thank God for celibacy.

It was pure pandemonium, and for the first time he could remember, in an all-out melee situation, General Public had no idea what to do. Just a moment ago, he’d been busting jaws and flattening noses out in the crowd, and now he felt more inclined to protect them and take down these armor-wearing goons, no matter their affiliation. But was he any match for them? He couldn’t be sure; he wasn’t currently sure of anything. Truth be told, he was terrified, and when something exploded just a few feet away it didn’t help matters one bit. He had to do something; he had to move. But where? At what? Against whom? Nothing made sense, and he was literally petrified, frozen in place, hearing the screams from dozens of battles, hundreds of secret missions, thousands of men dying for the cause in far-flung corners of the world. He remained that way, stuck between the gun-toting thugs and the now-helpless lambs of God, until a chunk of brick or something thudded against his helmet, literally ringing his bell, and he suddenly knew what to do.

He threw off the helmet, dropped it really, not wanting to hurt anyone, no longer interested in fighting back. He unhooked the utility and cross-belts, tore off the mask, hunched his shoulders and slunk into the crowd, away from the bullets, away from the madness, away from the rage and the pain and the fear, running now, through the wintry streets, stripping off bits and pieces of his living fiction, leaving it all behind.

By the time he reached Lakeshore, he was down to his skivvies. The biting wind off the water felt like a baptism.

A Review So Good I Nearly Cried

 

The Villain’s Sidekick

 

by Stephen Brophy

 

 

When I was first introduced to this book, I thought it might fall alongside books such as “Grunts,” by Mary Gentile, books that show a story from the “other side.”  Sidekicks of villains rarely have a place in the sun and usually end up in dire straits as the good guys triumph.  When I started reading, though, I saw a lot more of Terry Pratchett in it, but if this book is any indication, Stephen Brophy can give the esteemed Mr. Pratchett a run for his money.

 This book is taut, well-edited, and well-crafted.  Characterization is detailed without being tedious, and the storyline quickly draws the reader in.  There is a good deal of literary tension that qualifies this book as a page-turner.  On top of that, it is darn funny.  The humor, though, does not get in the way of the plot, as it does in so many other books, but rather supports it.  While it echoes Pratchett to an extent in the feel of the humor, where Pratchett elicits his humor in action and general observations, Brophy’s humor centers on the personal thoughts and attributes of the protagonist.  To me, that brings a deeper relevancy to the humor.  I could identify with it.

  Duke “HandCannon” LaRue is a bad guy, have no doubt about that.  He is an ex-con, a crook, a killer (although he’s killed fewer times than someone might suspect.)  He isn’t concerned about what his boss, Dr. Eye, might do with an item he’s sent to retrieve.  On the other hand, he dotes on his diabetic cat, Miss Lady, and loves his six-year-old daughter.  He has the same problems as so many of us have—an ex-spouse, paying for a mortgage for a house in which he no longer lives, a job that interferes with his domestic life.  He may be a baddie, but we can relate to him. I think that is a key to the book, and when Handcannon says he’s a bad dad for something he’s about to do, we’ve all been in that type of situation. 

 This is a funny book, but it is not just a platform for one-liners.  There was nary a weak spot, and I enjoyed every page.  This is one of the very best books I’ve read this year, and I give it my highest recommendation.

Four Out of Five Magnetic Projectiles

A terrific review from the good folks at fanboycomics.net.

‘The Villain’s Sidekick:’ Book Review

Written by  

‘The Villain's Sidekick:’ Book Review

Duke is a hardworking, blue-collar guy who just hasn’t had much luck in his life . . . or does a good job of blowing what luck comes his way. He lost several body parts to a tour of duty in Afghanistan, spent time in jail for assaulting his ex-wife’s current boyfriend, struggles with gambling debts, student loans, and a mortgage payment on said ex-wife’s home, barely is allowed visitation with his six-year-old daughter, attends 12-step meetings for substance abuse and anger issues, and works as muscle for one of Houston’s resident villains. Things get interesting, though, when he fails in obtaining an artifact for his employer and gets sent on a quest to retrieve it, which uncovers a strange tale that turns the superhero genre upside down.

Duke was a difficult character for me to empathize with at first, because I have zero experience with his type of hard boiled, tough guy individual; however, as facets of him as a father, friend, and reluctant pet owner began to come out, I realized that the tough exterior protected a sensitive spirit that wasn’t completely sure how to interact with the world without getting hurt. As he gains confidence in himself throughout The Villain’s Sidekick, I began to appreciate him a little more and recognize the importance of his story.

My favorite character, hands down, in this 82-page novella was Duke’s six-year-old daughter Cordelia, although several other characters also stood out. Her ability to both adore her father while simultaneously refusing to put up with any of his crap reminded me of how amazing children can be. She also is clever, gutsy, and willing to do what needs to be done in a dangerous situation, although some of it is utter confidence that her daddy will rescue her. Of course, any child that can charm an oldish, shy, diabetic cat named Mrs. Lady into being her best friend and then appropriately showers affectionate on the feline warms my heart substantially, which predisposed me in Cordelia’s favor.

I laughed at the tongue-in-cheek names donned by both superheroes and villains alike in The Villain’s Sidekick, some of which are delightfully punny pokes at pop culture. The tone of the piece is very humorous overall, but it’s often a very dry, self-deprecating wit that feels closer to sarcasm than true funniness.

The real coup, plot-wise, for this novella is the way the story sneaks up and twists before the reader fully realizes it. I was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected turn, both because it made the story far more interesting, and it helped deepen Duke’s characterization.

Overall, The Villain’s Sidekick is a great, short read for people who love superheroes but feel that the genre has gotten a little trite. The novella probably won’t change your world, but it will definitely keep you occupied for an hour or two.

4 Magnetic Projectiles out of 5

The Villain’s Sidekick was written by Stephen T. Brophy and is available via Budget Press.

http://www.fanboycomics.net/index.php/blogs/jodi-scaife/item/2915

Faces of Fury

Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Classic Nick Fury will probably never get his due in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Notice I don’t say the Real Nick Fury because for kids who’ve grown up reading the Ultimates stuff or who’ve accepted Samuel L. Jackson’s onscreen portrayal in multiple MCU films as definitive, classic Nick Fury may barely exist, or is just some 20th century relic we aging fanboys can’t let go of for nostalgia’s sake. Even the non-Ultimate Marvel U has found a way to link the new-model Fury with the more Jackson-centric model, by introducing the Colonel’s long-lost son, giving him an eyepatch, and setting him up as the new director of S.H.I.E.L.D. in the surprisingly enjoyable “Battle Scars” miniseries.

I wish like hell that I could get on board with this whole Jackson-as-Fury thing, but the fact of the matter is, he remains a weak link for me in all the Marvel movies in which he’s appeared so far. And part of the problem is, beyond how much I might rather have seen a Kurt Russell–who we all know looks badass in an eyepatch–or the less-likely Clint Eastwood take on the role of my beloved grizzled old rat bastard Fury, I would be much more willing to accept Jackson if he actually brought something to the table. Instead, he chooses to base his portrayal in the kind of inert neutrality and blank-slate characterization he brought to his performance as Mace Windu. Now, fan or not, you have to be aware of exactly what Jackson is capable of when he’s not just sleepwalking across the set to wherever they’ve laid his paycheck. Look at what he does as Stephen in “Django Unchained” and tell me the man doesn’t know how to bring the ferocious charisma when he feels like it. It would be so great to see just a little of that in his Nick Fury. Less Ray Arnold from “Jurassic Park,” more Jules Winnfield from “Pulp Fiction.” Some of that edge, that meanness, that lethal wit and wild dangerous eyes. Nick Fury can be any damn race he wants, I think, but two things he should never be: 1) bland, and 2) portrayed by David Hassellhoff.

All that being said, we’re now several movies in and the role is Jackson’s to interpret and define however he wants, and I find myself hoping that since he is the MCU’s Fury, that he’ll actually drop in for a cameo, or even an arc, on the new “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” if that show’s ratings hold and it proves durable and worthy of such a stunt. It would be cool to see, and if the somewhat lackluster, if slightly promising, pilot is any indication, the show could use that kind of shot in the arm. What got me thinking about all of this in the first place was that on the Saturday before the premiere, I came across a discounted copy of the aforementioned “Battle Scars” and devoured it quickly (it’s only four issues, and features a great guest appearance from Deadpool, who I always find much funnier when the book he’s in isn’t meant to be over-the-top comedy). And just days before that, my long-awaited copy of “Fury: My War Gone By Vol. 2” arrived in the mail from Amazon.

Written by Garth Ennis, who’s done such great work in his run with The Punisher, “My War Gone By” is a kind of alternate-history retelling of Fury’s history as a Cold War operative. S.H.I.E.L.D. is never mentioned, nor Captain America, nor Dum-Dum Dugan or the Contessa. Stripped of his usual trappings, Fury becomes a kind of anti-Bond, a disillusioned superspy with an unhealthy thirst for whisky, other men’s wives, and most of all, war. Ennis did a similar deconstruction of Fury and his self-serving, war-mongering agenda several years back, in 2002’s “Fury MAX” but while it’s a reasonably fun and absurdly bloody read, it’s somewhat marred by ill-conceived slapstick moments and lacks the sophistication and attention to real-world detail that makes “My War Gone By” not just cool, but actually thought-provoking and even achingly tragic.

As he’s demonstrated in his Punisher stuff, as well as “Hitman,” “A Man Called Kev,” and other works, Ennis has a seemingly obsessive interest in modern warfare and the kind of men who fight it, especially freelancers and mercenaries. But he is certainly no war fetishizer, as he takes a nuanced view of what it means when a warrior sells out any semblance of his ideals just to keep on finding reasons to fight. This is not a definitive Nick Fury story, by any means, as he’s so removed from his familiar element, and the conclusions Ennis draws about him are so uncomfortable. But he’s using the character here as a metaphor for American interventionism as seen through the lens of a man, and possibly a version of a character, who’s outlasted his usefulness. Of course, we comics fans, not to mention its writers and artists, are a sentimental lot, and it’s likely there are plenty of them who’ll want to keep picking Nick up, dusting him off, and trotting him out for more adventures, no matter how old he gets. So, black or white, bald or graying at the temples, here’s hoping the man with the ubiquitous eyepatch (and you can’t tell me Tony Stark couldn’t build him a perfectly good prosthetic eye by now!) keeps on fighting the good fight.

In the mood for more great Fury stories?:

Failing Up

Aside

I don’t know how people come to find their “calling.” I don’t know why it is that someone decides, sometimes at an early age that they’re going to be a marine biologist, or a career military officer, or a veterinary technician. Similarly, I don’t remember exactly why I decided, when I was in the second grade, that I was going to be a writer. I just know that was when I started writing my first attempt at a “novel” in a spiral notebook with a blue-gray cover. I had just read “Jaws” after seeing the movie the previous summer and it must have had a big influence because my book was called “Jaws” and featured most of the same characters Peter Benchley had created for his shark story. I think I may have also been influenced by early Saturday Night Live because my book was going to feature a shark that could move around on land if I remember correctly. But I never got around to introducing the Land Shark because I abandoned the project after too many people told me I’d be sued for blatantly ripping off an international bestseller. I didn’t really understand what being sued meant but I knew it was bad so I let it go. Nowadays I could just pass it off as fan fiction and rework it into a script for SyFy or The Asylum, but in those pre-internet days, such possibilities didn’t exist.

My next effort was the story of a bumbling detective, a trenchcoat-and-fedora-sporting dachsund named “Inspector Pluto.” My influences on this one ranged from the Pink Panther films to Agent Maxwell Smart to our unneutered, testosterone-crazed pet dachsund Max, who was long since gone from our lives by then. When my classmate (and later best friend) Jeff Coleman asked me about the notebook (a lovely lavender color, this one) I carried under my arm at all times, I told him, “It’s my novel, which I am going to have published.” His reply, and even after all these years I can hear it like it was yesterday, “The day you get a novel published will be the day…no, the day before…no, two days before the world ends.” Even if he had to reach for it, it was a pretty sophisticated insult from the mouth of a fourth grader. I don’t know if it was the fear of apocalypse that made me abandon that project, but more likely it was my mother telling me that if I wasn’t careful, stealing ideas from Blake Edwards and character names from Disney, I was going to get sued.

Somewhere in there, a pattern started emerging: I would start projects and throw myself into them with full force and fervor, scribbling down my “brilliant” ideas and “hilarious” comedic bits between the ruled lines of my notebooks in jagged script or looping cursive whorls, and inevitably, without a plan or a plot or a general clue as to where any of this was headed, I would lose steam, seek distraction and utterly abort the effort, sometimes discouraged, often indifferent. I would simply let it go.

But no matter how many times I gave up on an undertaking, no matter how many unfinished stories piled up, no matter how many unused ideas filled my cheap spiral notebooks (in place of the schoolwork they were intended for) I continued to call myself a writer to anyone and everyone who gave a shit what a prepubescent thought he was gonna be when he grew to manhood.

In junior high, I joined the the after-school literary club, where I did manage to finish something for publication in the stapled slab of mimeograph paper that was our school literary magazine. “Mission to Mars” near as I can tell through the filter of years was at least in part inspired by the movie “Capricorn One,” but without all the messy conspiracy stuff. I think I just based my characters on those in the film (names changed this time, though that may just be because there was no imdb.com on which to look up the names and steal them outright) and sent them on a real mission to Mars, where they encountered some very advanced English-speaking aliens and helped foment a revolution or something. All that matters is that I finished it and it was published and that felt great. Never mind that it was very very bad in the way only the earnest writing of a clueless sixth grader can be. But through a more forgiving lens, I’d probably be pretty proud of my twelve-year-old if he wrote it.

As the years ground on, I continued to think of myself as a writer, just one lucky break away from fame, fortune and true salvation in the form of life as a paid artist. I wrote a story in my first months as a high school freshman that eschewed the genre trappings of my early work and went for pure comedy in a kind of National Lampoon vein. “The Duck Hunter’s Guide” was the sad diary of a lonely (possibly depressed) duck hunter sleeping, drinking and wasting his way through a long weekend of doing anything but actually hunting for ducks. It was also published in the school lit magazine later that year, but more importantly, that raging cynic Jeff Coleman (by now my bestest buddy) passed it around to all the older kids in the elite high school theater circle we were so eager to break into, and they loved it and suddenly we were the new cool kids they were willing to take under their wings and mentor. Between that and acting in the school plays, it was my first genuine taste of art and creativity instantly expanding my world, winning me friends and allowing me to influence people. For better or worse, I was hooked.

Down through the years, the writing continued, the fits and starts and occasional finished products (like “Little Italy,” the Godfather-meets-Chinatown comedic melodrama I wrote more or less from scratch my junior year, which got a fairly epic production in the little theater and included a slo-motion shootout perpetrated by myself and Coleman). Somewhere in that smeary haze of adolescence I also discovered drugs, which first fostered creativity and Big Ideas, then increasingly forced those things into the backseat in favor of more hedonistic diversions.

I majored in English lit in college and discovered an abiding love of film, struggling to find a way to join my multiple interests in writing, performing and the art of storytelling. Some friends and I formed a theater group that was part sketch comedy outfit, part laughably liberal political performance art, and I churned out scripts (finished scripts!) and performed them for appreciative audiences and thought I’d found a way to express myself that could finally put me on “The Map” (whatever that might be).

All the while, I kept toiling on various half-baked novels, and while I would churn out many manuscript pages in sporadic bursts, I was again operating without an outline or an endgame in mind, and while the Big Ideas seemed to spill generously from my pen, or clunky IBM Selectric (this was aeons ago, kiddies), I couldn’t get to the end of any of them. Barely past the middle in most cases. Even short stories seemed beyond my grasp, in terms of just turning out a tight piece of work with a solid beginning, middle and end (much less a theme or a point or a reason to be written). Comedy sketches came easily, but polished prose took work, focus, all those things that didn’t leave enough space for getting royally wasted. It didn’t help when adorable Raye Lane, the punky bleach-blonde actress I had a crush on for awhile, said to me when I told her I was writing a novel, “At your age? How pretentious.” She laughed when she said it, but it was just as devastating to my momentum as Coleman’s words eight or so years earlier. Who did I think I was? What life experience did I have that made me think I should write a book, much less that I could? But what I should have told her was, “It’s not pretentious. It’s science fiction!” Pretension is for angsty memoirs. I just wanted to build a cool, dangerous world and put some people through hell in it.

The years rolled on and after eking out a graduation from the University of Texas, I made my way to San Francisco with less of an outline for my life than I’d ever had for one of my books. Tried joining a writer’s group, tried spinning prose into film scripts, tried speed, tried anything and everything I could to kickstart a career but instead settled none-too-comfortably into a borderline-poverty level of existence working temp jobs and in restaurants, still calling myself a writer because it was less terrifying than surrendering fully into being nothing more than a wage slave.

Wrote drug-addled poetry and made meth-fueled stabs at churning out more long-form fiction. Participated in and even staged a few spoken word readings, tried to reinvent myself as some kind of post-punk pure artist of the living word. At my age? How pretentious. A friend of mine who’d thrown his hat into the small-press publishing ring put out a chapbook of my work, and a subversive newsprint rag called Filth Magazine published some bizarre and angry essays I’d spit from my cruddy Brother word processor (it was the ’90s now!) Formed another sketch comedy group with my old high school buddy Les Milton, one of those theater kids who’d taken us under his wing back in the day, and contented myself with writing–and completing!–more of those comedy sketches. I wrote and wrote and wrote just so I didn’t have to stop telling people I was what I claimed to be but I still felt like I was spinning my wheels.

There comes a moment for every writer when you have to either produce or have your creative license revoked, and mine came when I mentioned something off-handedly to Les one afternoon about my “novel” and he let out a possibly involuntary burst of scoffing laughter as if to say, “What novel? You’ve been working on one novel or another since the day I met you and so far, you got shit.” Later on, he wouldn’t even remember the incident, but I carried it with me for the next several months, way back at the end of the previous millennium, when I got as serious as I’d ever been about completing one of my many half-conceived epics, and burned through the first (and sadly, only) draft of “Celebrity Bandwidth.” A cyberpunk-tainted sci-fi opus about artificially intelligent computer constructs of dead celebrities who start to develop consciousness, and in some cases, consciences, it was 300-plus pages of well-conceived but completely overwritten pap, amphetamine-laced adjectives filling out the word count in preposterous runs of go-nowhere hyper-description. Regardless, somewhere in there, I sent out queries to agents and publishers and lo and behold, amidst the slew of rejections there came genuine interest from a very real, and very supportive, agent in New York named Moses Cardona. I wish I could say that changed my life forever, but the fact is, smart man that he was, Moses saw both the tremendous potential, and the deep deep problems of the book, and encouraged some pretty major rewrites. But within a month of spewing the last triumphant line of my sloppy epic, something else happened that would transform my life, and my career, but would also derail the momentum that “Bandwidth” had given me, and brought my way. I got my first paid writing job.

I don’t know if it was just because I’d been in San Francisco too long, but something in my lazy and chemically saturated brain decided that, instead of requiring myself to knuckle down and do the hard, serious work of turning that book into something worthy of publication for a well-placed agent who was legitimately interested in my work, I should simply accept this new and nearly out-of-nowhere gig writing internet cartoons for a dotcom 3D animation startup with their own propietary motion-capture software as my genuine reward from the Universe for completing a draft of the book and my one true destiny. And for awhile, it felt kind of true.

Les and I were hired on the basis of our work writing, producing and performing our sketch comedy material for a project we called White Noise Radio Theatre (work of which I am and remain justifiably very proud, despite the fact that we never achieved the level of success we could and should have had we maybe been younger and able to dedicate ourselves more thoroughly to whatever it was we were trying to do). Working for Protozoa/dotcomix, at its best, felt like we were toiling in the early days of television, that we were there on the ground floor of the future, soldiers on the forefront of next-wave entertainment, where content was and always would be king. The job lasted a year.

After the ignominious burst of the dotcom bubble, there didn’t seem to be much left for me in San Francisco except a possible return to restaurant jobs or some other low-level wage slavery. So with the support of a loving girlfriend (who would later become my wife) I packed it in and moved to LA to see about keeping the momentum of a nascent writing career alive in some capacity. I turned my attention from novels and stories to scripts (while continuing with the comedy sketches–I’ve been in no less than five sketch comedy groups; we are the garage bands of the new millennium). In my ten years here, I’ve turned out more spec scripts and original pilots than you could air in a single season across the entire basic cable spectrum (or maybe it just feels that way), had pilots produced by real professionals with proven track records, had collaborations and Best-Ideas-Ever wither and die on the vine, gained and lost a manager, and somehow wound up a reality TV story producer (which does involve storytelling but is not the same as writing but you try explaining that to ANYONE who doesn’t do it for a living). I denigrate that job a-plenty, but it has allowed me to pay the bills, buy a house, start raising a child, kept me in comic books (and for awhile too long, drugs) while utilizing a very real skill for storytelling honed over all these years of fits and starts.

The most valuable thing I’ve learned from scriptwriting, aside from the ability to accept failure and rejection as an everyday fact of life, is how to tell a tight, concise, purposeful story and to see it through to completion. To not leave things hanging, whenever possible. To finish. And in the last couple of years, as the siren call of prose–funny, interesting, science fictional as ever–has started to sing inside my head again, I’ve paid attention. After all this time, years both well-spent and wildly wasted, I think I finally see the way through, the means to finish, and the willingness, if not always the free time and founts of energy, to do the hard work to make something as close to right as possible before forcing it out into the world. And finally, thanks to encouragement from those lifelong friends and creative partners like Jeff and Les and my friend Rodney Ascher who made the book cover (an invaluable part of kicking off my foray into digital publishing before I even knew I was ready) and my buddy Dave and his irrepressible Budget Press, who made “The Villain’s Sidekick” his first legitimate paperback publication, I’ve birthed this little book into the world and only time will tell what it does with its life, or I do with the rest of mine.

Within a week or so of releasing “Villain’s Sidekick,” I received a package in the mail from my parents. In addition to a couple of copies of that junior high lit magazine containing my first ever published work, there were two of my yearbooks from that time as well. Amidst all the “Luv Ya Like A Brother”s and the “Raise Hell This Summer”s, a surprising number of friends and acquaintances from those long-ago days wrote words to the effect of “Stephen, you are a great writer and a good friend” or “Keep on writing” (and also “You have a very weird sense of humor” which is equally awesome), so I dunno, maybe I really do have a calling.